The other day, the Lord put John 15: 1-17 on my heart to read. I have read this passage so many times before, but I knew this time would be different. His word is alive and active and no two readings of it are ever the same.
As I began to read, I couldn’t help but notice how many times I kept saying certain words over and over and over again. So I got really curious and began to do a word count. Here’s what I found: Remain (mentioned 10 times), branch (6 times) , fruit (7 times) , love (9 times), commandments (5 times), produce (6 times), Father (6 times), and so on.
My mind was blown. Jesus literally repeated himself stating particular words so we would get the main point of this passage: A call to to trust our heavenly, to bear fruit in times of testing when things are cut off, a call to love one another, and the main focus to remain in Him! The word remain is mentioned in the Bible about 120 times and it means:
“to abide, to sojourn, tarry, not to depart, to continue to be present, to be held, kept, continue on, to continue to be, not to perish, to last, endure, to survive, live, to stay together as one”
I was blown away as I read these powerful definitions. I believe that God was so intentional to remind us to remain, because often times in opposition and uncertainty, our fleshy brain struggles to remain at peace in Him. In times of testing we are tempted to complain instead of remain. In times of the unknown we tend to refrain instead of remain. In times of frustration we tend to blame and become drained instead of remain. In these moments we must refuse to give into fear and frustration, we must choose to resist the devil and his distractions, & we get to decide to reflect on all that God has done & is still able to do. This is how we remain. Remaining is a radical act of trusting the very one who is the keeper of our soul. Remaining is an act of obedience and resilience. We are a resilient people! We will not be shaken.
I want to declare these words over each of us as we walk out this waiting season of the unknown.
Though we don’t know what tomorrow holds, we know the One who holds tomorrow and He loves us so deeply.
Speak this over yourselves as often as you need to and reach out to those closest to you as a support system during this time ♥️
Speak this over yourself out loud:
“I will Remain still. I will Remain sane. I will Remain calm. I will Remain at peace. I will Remain strong and courageous. I will Remain prayerful. I will Remain kind. I will Remain giving. I will Remain present. Lastly, I will remain unified as one in the body of Christ.”
For the Christian, we don’t have to worry, but thankfully we get to remain still and know that He is Lord! God is faithful and He will never leave us nor forsake us. Remain in His love beloved. I love each of you with the sweet love of the Lord. Be encouraged during this time of waiting and remaining. This too will pass In Jesus name ♥️
Lately I’ve been meditating on Romans 12:2 and the word renew has not left me. Here’s what verse 2 says,
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:2 NIV
Many times I feel in over my head as a wife & a mama bear of 7 and I have to come back to this verse to have my mind renewed in the Lord. As Christians we don’t carry our load alone. We serve a God who does the heavy lifting as we lay down our way of handling things and as we allow His Holy Spirit to grace us through event moment of the day. God always has a way or showing me a better way of carrying my portion in such a way that it won’t overload me. Here’s a neat acronym the Lord gave me in regards to being renewed!
R E N E W
R-Reflect (reflect on your previous week. What worked out well? What didn’t work well? What connections did you make with God and others? Who did you get to encourage? What foods did you fuel your body with? What task were completed? What task were rolled over to this week? How were you feeling last week?
E- Engage– Find at least one person you can check in with if you get stuck? Maybe you need a safe person to pray with or check in with? Maybe you just need a sister to call for accountability? Whatever that need is, find that person and make the connection this week! We are not called to do life alone. Healthy and Godly community is such a blessing.
N- Navigate– Where are you at spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally this week? Find verses that can help navigate you through these emotions. Guard your heart from negative thoughts. What is your plan for the day/week? How do you plan on accomplishing that? What goals did you hit last week and what goals are you working towards this week? Share these goals with the person you “engage” with so that they can encourage you along the way!
E- Envision– Imagine the finished product of your hard work and effort. Imagine the fruit of your time in prayer! Imagine the relationships that will be formed as you connect with intentionality and study God’s word diligently. Nothing you are doing is without a greater purpose than yourself. Imagine how proud you are making our Heavenly Father right at this very moment. Wow! Can you imagine how pleased He is with you?!
W- Work well– Our load becomes bearable when we remember who we’re working for and also when we are only doing that which God called us to do! “Work as if you’re working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:22-23). Sometimes it’s tempting to think we’re working for people. It’s also tempting to want to please the people we work with and for, but oh how special it is to work for the very one who calls us to work; Jehovah God himself (Galatians 1:10). He is our boss and CEO! He is the reason we’re here! Everything we do is for His ultimate glory!
Prayer: Father God I pray for my sweet sister this week. I pray that she would be refreshed in you and that her mind would be renewed. Lord I pray against distractions and discouragement. Steady her heart and mind this week as she navigates through all that needs her attention as a wife, mom, sister, friend, employee, and the list goes on. Grace her with joy to complete with excellence everything you have given her to do. I pray that as she seeks You will fill her spirit with everything she needs to carry her through this season as she seeks You wholeheartedly. Surround her with sweet community to walk by faith with. More than anything, surround her with your spirit of love. Thank you for your endless pursuit. We love you and thank you. In Jesus name amen.
There’s a “thread” that’s holding your healing hostage.
Move ahead and heal ♥️
No more rehashing your painful past as if it were some play script or something. The hurt will never fully heal if you keep rehearsing it in your head & heart.
Rehashing or rehearsing it won’t heal you; Releasing it will. Release it to the one who can restore what the devil meant to destroy in you.
Give it to God. Delete the text thread ..aka rip “the script”. Delete the proof that you’ve used to prove something to yourself. God will vindicate you. He always does! You need only to pray and prepare for new beginnings and refreshment. It’s coming! Forgive & Go walk in your freedom. Be dependent on the finished work of the cross.
For now on, your painful past will only serve as a part of your testimony of what God has brought you through. Rehash the horror story only for His glory.
Declare this over your mind with me:
I will NOT Rehash the past without a useful purpose. I will delete the thread. I will heal and not let this hurt me any longer. I will not go back to old messages that have hindered my healing process. I will release the ones who have hurt me. I will not be offended. I am loved and accepted. I have nothing to prove. God proved my worth when He sent His son Jesus to purchase me with His blood. I am a blood bought beloved of God. I’m priceless! Its time to move on. Better things await me for God’s glory. I’m moving forward by faith and with joy in Jesus name. Amen amen amen! ♥️🤛🏾
Yesterday I danced with the trees. Today I’m just reminiscing! If I were a plant, a giant tree planted by a stream is what I’d be. I’d find joy in providing a sense of covering for those around me and bearing much fruit while being deeply rooted, grounded and unshakable. Yet I’d be flowy and I wouldn’t frown upon flexibility as my branches would dance with the wind! I’d stand tall and strong and only bend to flow with the wind and lean towards my forever source of light .
In some seasons I’d shed my leaves so that new life could form. I’d be hospitable, housing all types of birds and the like. I’d be useful for paper-making so that God’s word could be printed by the millions for every nation in their language. And to keep me humble, I’d be a vibrant green, like the “apple” Adam & Eve ate.
My color would remind me of what my creator saved me from. I’d be humbled every time the water reflected me on its ripples formed by the wind. Yep, a tree is what I’d be. A tree is what I’m like.
Trees have always intrigued me. They captive me on so many levels. I’m convinced that God gave them to us not just for food, or oxygen, or for shade, or paper, but also for us to embody & emulate their very essence. I want to be like a tree that finds its peace and purpose in being planted by the living water as Psalm 1 speaks up. That’s what I want to be like when I grow up!
Leave whatever hinders you behind and begin to deeply root yourself in the abundant love of God! He loves you like crazy!
Sooooo, I’ve been waiting on God to for a particular desire and it feels like I’ve been waiting for forever. This is what He reminded of….
The word “wait” can often be translated in the word of God as “serve”. Think about a waiter at a restaurant; they are often also called servers. As disciples we are too. We’re servants. Waiters essentially. I was a waitress for 3 years in the past and I know what it feels like to do this type of labor. Sometimes I really enjoyed it because the tips I got were instant gratification to my “waiting” skills. I went home with lots of cash every night I worked. The instant gratification made the waiting worth while, but what about spiritually? What about waiting without any “tip” to show for at the end of long laboring days?
It’s tough to think about it that way sometimes, because we often dislike waiting. I know I do, especially when you’ve been waiting for what feels like forever. But what if we got so caught up in serving that we forgot we were even waiting?! Time would fly by without us even noticing and we would be so full and fulfilled because we waited with with hope, purity & purpose. I want to encourage someone in their “waiting” season to get busy serving and not watching time fly by with weariness.
What areas can you start serving in? Who has God put on your heart to love on and serve in this season? What areas can you say “yes” to now? We are waiters and we work on commission for a great commission to win souls back to Jesus. Since we work for a “great commission (Matthew 28)”, my “tip” to us as believes is to get busy serving. The wait feels much different when it’s devoted to advancing God’s kingdom agenda.
Love y’all and praying for y’all in whatever waiting season you’re in! Make it count! The wait won’t last forever. Wait well beloved.
With Christ’s love in the wait,
-Amy Isom
“The LORD is my portion and my inheritance,” says my soul; “Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait [confidently] for Him, To those who seek Him [on the authority of God’s word]. It is good that one waits quietly For the salvation of the LORD.”
On the Sunday evening before my birthday this week I got what seemed to be a random friend request from a very beautiful woman named BJ Arnett who I didn’t know. I was a a little confused. Before accepting the request I snooped on her page to see if we had any mutual friends (we had 2) and then I continued to snoop. I saw pictures of her and the main actor in the new Overcomer movie (which my hubby and I saw 2 weeks ago… amazing movie!!) I then realized by the pictures on her page that she and the man from the movie were actually married. I was still confused as to why I was added and now wondering what in the world God was up to. Long story short, I accepted her request and I found out about a 3 day film festival on her page called #content19 (for actors , directors, producers and writers) and guess what, the festival was starting the same day as my birthday. So I began to get curious and pray! And God said “Go”. So I asked Michael and he said “babe obey God and Go. I support you.” With much fear, excitement and expectation, I…. I… I waited to buy my ticket 🤦🏾♀️. “But God I still need more confirmation”.
Two days later on the morning of my birthday, I woke up to my confirmation from my calendar devotion flip book
This is where it’s gets wild. This week everyone but one of our boys came down with the vicious stomach bug and the enemy fought so hard to keep me from getting out the house to this event, but as always he was defeated. God got me there. At 6:30 am Thursday morning (the final day of conference) I made a one hour drive to the festival by myself and hubby stayed back with our kids. He was able to came during lunch to enjoy the keynote speaker with me which was so sweet because that message was for us both. When I first arrive that morning, one of the volunteers I connected with prayed over me and then she led me to the table of the keynote speakers and had me sit with them and their sweet team. This couple is anointed and full of the love of Jesus and for people. Their team is the same as well! All Godly, all humble, all so loving and serving! All lovely! Their humility and liveliness was literally contagious!
I had no idea what God was doing, by this point I was just so honored to be here and I expectantly went with His leading.
The festival started, and BJ Arnett was up leading a morning devotional speech. 3 times she said, “your quiver is not yet full”, “your quiver is not yet full”, “your quiver is not yet full”. By this time my eyes are running like a faucet with tears of gratitude. I knew for sure that God has sent me here. Check this, my first biological son’s name is Arrow’s name which God told us to name him from Psalm 127:3-4 (please go read it!) and he is the first “Arrow” of our quiver and now we have a growing quiver of bonus boys! We have 4 bonus sons through foster/house parenting! More confirmation on top of more confirmation. We’ve definitely got a growing quiver over here!
I was in tears most of the day yesterday as my spirit was being encouraged by such a kingdom culture. I met so many beautiful souls with hearts of gold! The peace of God was in that place through His pure hearted people. God spoke so clear to me there. God gave me more insight and vision. I took so many notes and drew circles around BIG prayers. I had my quiet time and the Lord has me reading in Psalm 91! I’m abiding.
God gave me the courage there to step out on faith in deeper depths of the unknown. He championed me on to receive His blessing for my life. He removed fear and doubt. He called me higher. He challenged me to just simply let Him lead my life even when I feel insecure, uncertain and sometimes unworthy. God gave me so much clarity for my “role” in His kingdom. I will forever be changed by the special experience being around Godly visionaries, writers, actors, producers, directors, but more importantly, disciples seeking first the kingdom (Matthew 6:33) while using their gifts to edify the bony of Christ and to seek and save the lost!
At the end of the festival I found BJ and her husband after the awards ceremony; even after a long night/event, they were still so radiant, humble and kindhearted. I shared with BJ how her friend request was why I was led to come to the event and we shared other words of encouragement. We how chatted about our mutual Facebook friend and how sweet her family was. Come to find out, she added me because something she saw I posted that’s she saw through our mutual friend’s page.
I know that God doesn’t waste any moment. NOTHING happens by coincidence in Christ. God is soooo faithful and intentional and He’s always up to something greater than us for His glory. We must say “yes” to His leading. One thing I realized even more from the past 4 days is that God will literally use something so simple yet profound to get you into the place, space and position to hear His voice. That’s how much God desires for us to partake in His plan and purpose. Wow!
Bj and Camy, thank you for speaking to my heart this week and being exactly who God has called y’all to be. Y’all are warriors for His kingdom.
This week has seriously been one of the best birthday gift I never knew I needed. I wish I could put into words everything that took place, but it just wouldn’t do it any justice. I have another another special gift that I got on my bday that I’ll share when the time is right!
God is sooo faithful and I will never stop following You King Jesus. It’s all about You and always has been. Don’t dismiss when God says “Go”. You”ll never know what your role is in God’s kingdom unless you take certain leaps of faith. Sometimes you’ll leap fearlessly and some leaps you’ll make fearfully and they’ll require more faith. Either way just leap beloved. Go forth and find out your role! There are souls on the line that need to hear the good news and there are nations waiting on your very simple “yes”.
So what’s your role beloved ? It’s time to play it. Be loved and be led by His spirit!
This is the hardest of all of my blogs to write so far. It’s a very sensitive and devastating hardship a couple that Michael and I are honored to call covenant friends and family in Christ have had to walk through. I so badly wanted to write this blog in such a way that honors their vulnerable hearts. So, Ruby and Jimitri, I pray and hope that in a very simple way I can effectively share your story to those who will read it here. I pray that this blog is one that you can revisit in the future for “faith fuel”. Thank you for being courageous enough to share such a painful part of y’alls journey.
A little background of how we met…
Out Fellowshipping with some of our favorite people!
Last August, on the first day of our second and final year as theology degree students, my husband and I met this beautiful couple on campus after morning chapel. That morning I was introduced to Ruby by my prayer partner Debby, as I was walking out to leave campus for the day since I didn’t have a class after chapel. Ruby was so lovely and lively! She briefly explained to me that just a month prior she had laid to rest her sweet 2 year old baby boy who had passed away from leukemia. Suddenly, my heart sunk with sadness. I didn’t know what to say so I was silent. I remember just hugging Ruby and wrestling to find words, so I said very little if that. At this time my son Arrow was only 3 months old and I couldn’t even imagine the pain she was feeling as I held Arrow in our hallway chat that day. I just kept thinking, “how in the world did they have enough faith to move 6 hours away to start school so suddenly?” The only answer is the grace of God.
That morning, I invited Ruby over to our home to hang out while our husbands were in class. From 9am to 5pm we began our journey of getting to know one another as Ruby and her daughter stayed over the whole day! We got well acquainted! We had a mommy play date while eating, talking, and just being women as our little ones played together! Jaleah (her daughter) was just 13 months at the time, so her and Arrow were playing as we just talked and talked and talked. Come to find out, Ruby and I had attended the same exact high school at the same exact time 10 plus years ago and had no idea! And now fast forward 10 years later, God crossed our paths for His kingdom agenda.
Story time at the library with the littles!
That day during lunch, our husbands came home and I made lunch for us all as we continued to fellowship. In that moment, I knew God was doing something so special with our sweet bond that flourished so authentically and effortlessness. At just the right time, God gave this new mommy of a 3 month old the community I needed and he gave this young family who had been mourning the loss of their little one the community and friendship their healing hearts also needed. Ruby and I pretty much did everything together this past year from nap times, to praying & bible study, to library story time, to mall trips, to mentoring teen parents, to cooking, to grocery shopping, to nail shops, to movies and date nights, to family outings and everything in between. Oh how I needed our daily sister/married time; I will forever cherish it. Three months ago when Michael and I moved to begin our journey in the DFW area (5 hours away), my heart was so sad to leave such a consistent and refreshing friendship, but thank God for FaceTime and random trips! Ruby and Jimitri are some of the most humble and devoted disciples I know and I am so honored to do life with such jewels in God’s kingdom. We love y’all!
Date night! Baby Green #3 is due this October 2019!
She’s here!!!! Congrats to their newest bundle of joy! Isn’t she a beauty!! 💕🥰
Last month I asked Ruby and Jimitri if I could interview them and write a blog about their experience with losing their sweet son. The reason why I was so captivated by their story is because since day one of meeting them, they have always been so open with sharing detailed parts of this difficult journey with me and others around them. It has been beautiful to hear touching stories about their son. By this, they have taught me to be a good listener and to allow people to grieve and share memories and also cry at times. I’ve been blessed to have those moments with them and my heart has been immensely impacted forever. This past year I have been able to get to know soooo much about a sweet baby boy I’ll meet one day in heaven named Jimitri Jr. (Deuce). I love little Deuce so much and feel like I’ve been able to meet him through just the way the Greens have shared his life story with me. I pray that those who come across this blog will be touched by the love of the Greens and the legacy of their baby boy Deuce who is now dancing with King Jesus.
A Tribute to Deuce.
Last July (2018), Ruby and Jimitri laid to rest their first born baby and son, Jimitri Jr. aka “Deuce” after his 7 month battle with leukemia. Life since then hasn’t been easy for them, but the Greens continue to trust God in all things.
Smiling even in hardship. Such a strong boy.
Here is their interview: (grab some tissue)
What did you feel when you first heard of Deuce’s diagnosis?
Jimitri: “I felt every emotion. I wrote a blog. I felt like he would’ve been healed. I felt like it was just a lesson God was teaching us. Was God listening? I didn’t understand. Later, I began to feel like God was listening, but maybe what we wanted wasn’t going to happen after all. At times I didn’t want to know God anymore. I was so angry. I cried a lot during this time. At times I wanted to die. I was losing hope. I didn’t feel like I was strong enough to go through this. I finally began to surrender once I realized I had no control over the outcome.”
Ruby: “I was shocked at first. I was confused and wondering where did he get it from. I had a lot of questions. When chemo started, it got really hard. At the beginning, I never thought it would take his life. Bad news felt like detours, but not a death sentence. Jaleah was just 6 months and it was so hard being there for both of my little ones. We lived in the hospital for months. There was a time during trying out treatment that nothing was working so they wanted to try Jaleah as a match for a medical need for our son since she had something in her body that could be used to save his life. I was so mad to have to try to put my youngest baby in pain to help my oldest baby. I started to feel let down by God. I kept thinking, “but God we’ve been faithful to You. Why us? There are people who don’t even want their kids and here we are loving ours and this is happening? It’s not fair”. After the doctors did all they could do, we were told to go home and make memories with Deuce. We were so devastated, but still very hopeful. We continued to pray and believed that he could still be healed. We started seeing a naturalist doctor and exhausted a lot of money and time. We tried everything we knew. He started losing weight rapidly and we would rush him back and forth to the hospital in the middle of the night when he’d get a fever. It was so hard.”
How was your faith during this time?
Ruby: “When he passed away, I was so mad. I didn’t want to hear anything. I stopped praying. I went to church, but I didn’t want to be there. With time I began to be more grateful just knowing that my baby was no longer in pain and we had peace knowing that he was in heaven with Jesus for eternity.”
How was marriage during this time?
Both: “While we went through the diagnosis stage, our marriage was really strong. It helped that we communicated about everything. Having the same faith and belief in God made all the difference. Being equally yoked was everything. We stayed on the same page at all times and we made every difficult decision together. Jimitri left his full time job during the time Deuce was in the hospital. Our friends, family and our church supported us with a “Go Fund Me”, which allowed us to focus on our children and marriage and not bills. We moved in with our in-laws and lived between there and the hospital. It was truly a blessing and took extra stress off of us to have the support system we had. We spent a lot of time with one another talking. We even went on some dates. We didn’t hide any emotion from one another and we spoke up when needed.”
When did things get the hardest?
Ruby: “Once Deuce passed away I thought our marriage would split. I just didn’t know how I could go on as a mother and wife. There was one night we had a huge argument and I was so upset. I left Jimitri that evening with Jaleah and went to get a hotel room by myself. I needed a moment to think. I thought about not going back, except for Jaleah. But the next morning after praying, I knew I needed to go back and fight for our marriage. Satan wanted to steal, kill, and destroy our marriage. We had a long talk that next day. We talked about divorce, but we knew that we had to take that option off of the table, because we wanted to honor God. The word of God and commitment were the only reasons why we worked things out. We both had to surrender ourselves and hear what the other person was saying. We both had to be willing to work on ourselves. We both apologized and we’ve not looked back since.”
Did y’all ever blame each other for Deuce’s diagnosis?
Jimitri: ” Not once did we blame each other. I did wonder about what Deuce put in his mouth sometimes like dirt and paint when he’d be playing. But at the end of the day, no one was the blame but satan.”
Ruby: ” I blamed myself at times, because as a stay at home mom, Deuce was always with me. The doctors had told us that his leukemia came from something in the environment, so I often wondered if I had exposed him to something like a certain food, place, or even vaccinations. I wondered a lot.
Who were y’alls main support system?
Both: “Our church family for sure was our greatest blessing. I’m grateful for God’s church. They showed up and out for us all the way through. From start to finish we never had one single need. We even had to turn some meals away, because of the abundance. Our family was also present most times and supported us.”
Did people ever say the wrong thing?
Both: “yes, all of the time. We knew people meant well, but sometimes their words made matters worse… some of the comments were:
“God is going to send your son back”
“I understand your pain”
“I understand what you’re going through”
“You’re young enough to have another baby”
“God will replace him with a new baby”
“All of these comments hurt to hear. There was even a time when a family member didn’t come to the funeral and their reason was because they said they couldn’t handle the sadness. This hurt us because out of all of the people hurting, we were hurting the most and we had to show up no matter what as wounded parents. It felt selfish for people to opt out of coming to be there for us when it mattered the most, and some have not called since then.”
It’s been a year now since Deuce gained his wings. How did that one year mark affect you?
Jimitri: “I reflected that day. It was joyous. I’m convinced that our son will be resurrected one day. That’s the benefit of having faith in Christ. We will see him again!”
Ruby: “That day I tried to have a normal day. I got up and got dressed. I took Jaleah out to play. I gave my mind permission to think about my son that day. I didn’t want to ignore the thought of him. I also cried a lot. I wanted to just hug him. I wondered what he would’ve been like.”
How has this hardship transformed you?
Jimitri: “Pride broke off of my heart. My son was “The son of all sons”. I thought very highly of him and it was prideful of me. God replaced pride with humility and also granted me compassion. ”
Ruby: “I would say the same. I placed him on a pedestal. I loved him more than God at times. It taught me to keep God first even as a parent. I acknowledge God more now and I’m more grateful. I’m excited about future babies. They won’t be Deuce; he will always be my first born and so special to me. My kids will always know about their big brother in heaven.”
What did/do you love most about Deuce?
Jimitri: “his confidence and boldness”!
Ruby: “his energy and personality”!
What would you say to Fathers who may be walking in a similar hardship?
Jimitri: “Always be willing to express your feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry and talk about what’s hurting you. You don’t have to be the strong one. Be present both physically and emotionally. Focus on your family and not just financially providing. If you have to lose a car, job, money, so be it. Lean on God’s word for strength and hope. Meditate on Psalm 1.”
To the mothers:
Ruby: “You don’t have to be in control. Listen to your husband and allow him to lead.
Our future desire:
“One day we want to start a foundation for families going through what we went through. It’ll be a platform to serve others who are hurting by offering hope and prayer.”
Thank you Ruby and Jimitri for sharing your personal story about experiencing God’s goodness even in grief. I honor y’all and appreciate your humility and desire to minister even this area, because not many are able to. I believe that God comforts us so that we can turn around and comfort others. Many will find strength through your personal testimony. Deuce would be so proud of his parents.
It takes a lot of faith in a faithful God to be able to turn to God during grief. God’s grace is truly sufficient and this testimony proves that.
If you have been moved by this and are not a believer, but are curious to learn about Christ, we are here to walk with you on your journey. Also, if you are in need of a living community, I want to get you connected! May God’s love continue to pursue you.
We are praying for those who may be walking through grief/loss of a child or loved one. We pray that you would be reminded of the goodness of God even in your hardship. We pray also that your faith would be strengthen in times of trouble and that you would experience comfort. God is near. Rest in His love and care.
Be loved abundantly.
-Amy Isom
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“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in.” -Psalm 34:18
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“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV
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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33
This week, I was supposed to be starting my Social Work Masters program. I had already been admitted, met my advisors and right when I was about to register for classes 3 weeks ago, God told me, “no, not now”. “Wait, huh Lord why”? I began to wrestle with God. I was soooo confused, sad, let down and to be honest, a bit upset. I felt like here we go again… another thing I have to surrender… “but Why Lord, I need it for this current assignment you have me doing.” What about my resume Lord?” So many other questions ran through my mind.
In my head I just knew I could do motherhood (Plus bonus motherhood raising 4 bonus sons plus one of our own), marriage, house parenting, writing, social life, ministry, and school all together, but in my heart I knew deep down that my plate was too full and not what God needed on it in this current season… So school had to go. Though I understood in the natural why I couldn’t go, I needed clarity as to why spiritually God has said “no, not now”… and as He always does, He gave me the answer with so much clarity.
In the moment when I wondered, “God, in this field I’m in, most people “need” their masters to do what you’ve called me to do more effectively”, God so clearly reminded me, “Beloved, you are not like most people. You don’t need what most people need to get the task I’ve called you to done. I go before you and I have distinguished you. Not by [your] might or [your] power, but by the spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6)) .
God reminded my of Gideon in the book of Judges 6-7 (please go read it)!!!! He reminded me that what one person thinks they need to accomplish God given assignments something isn’t always what He wants to give us. God wants the glory to go to Him and not the accolades we can bring to the table. Sometimes our own agenda and accolades get in the way of God’s agenda. I was reminded that God distinguishes us as we walk by faith and that we are equipped best through Him alone. I’m reminded that He knows that our time and energy are precious and that when busyness gets a hold of us, something more important can often take the back seat disobediently. I’m reminded that everything I need today is already in arms reach. I’m reminded to be content with the current. I’m reminded of the goodness of God and that He will never withhold what we need from us. He is faithful.
So beloved, what is THAT thing that God has said “no” to? Do you feel frustrated without it? Do you feel behind because of it? Do you feel unqualified since God didn’t let you have it? Do you feel like God has forgotten about you? Or maybe you feel resentful to your current season as a busy working wife, or a stay at home mom? Do you feel your “dreams” and “desires” are put on hold? Maybe you feel like time is flying by and you’re not getting any younger so you feel pressed to achieve something RIGHT NOW. Maybe you feel inadequate without THAT thing and that maybe if you could have that thing you’ve been praying for that you would be complete? Maybe you’re mad at God? Whatever you are feeling in this current moment matters, but it must not move you. God is not worried about your resume. God’s desire for us is His perfect will. I want to remind you that God qualifies the unqualified and He equips the called. So you don’t have to worry that your accolades don’t add up. You don’t have to worry that you don’t have enough experience to do the job. You don’t have to worry about what you bring to the table God has set. God will distinguish you. With God, you just don’t need as much as you think you need! You have enough in Him. He multiplies EVERYTHING! Remember the 4,000 He fed?! He’s got you!
“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:19 KJV
What you’re doing in your current season matters and if God is saying “no, not right now” or just flat out “no”, trust that it’s for a really really really good reason. Trust that His “no” is necessary. Trust that God’s plan is perfect! Trust that when you do walk out in obedience without the very thing you thought you needed to do so, ONLY God will be able to get the glory in your story and not anyone or anything else. Trust God beloved. Believe me, He will blow your mind. He’s constantly blowing mine.
I want to leave you with a part of this super encouraging passage in Judges 7:2, “GOD said to Gideon, “You have too large an army with you. I can’t turn Midian over to them like this—they’ll take all the credit, saying, ‘I did it all myself,’ and forget about me.”
(The story gets even better… please go read the rest)!!!!!
God doesn’t want us to forget about His goodness in our lives, so at times He may “withhold” things in the natural so that supernaturally He can make provision for our needs and be the only one we can truly give credit to.
So beloved, what “need” do you have that God is saying “no” to?
Lets lay them down together in obedience. Trust that with God, you just don’t need what you thought you needed to get the job done. You have enough in Him and you are enough in Him. He is your greatest accolade. He is your greatest asset! He is your greatest reward.
So in the meantime, I’ll be enjoying this season of motherhood spent at home with our 15 month old, serving my hubby and our bonus boys, loving on those I’m called to, stewarding our home, using my talents and gifts as God continues to develop them and working on the things God has ask of me in this season! There is nothing greater than love motivated obedience. Lord I love you and I’m only doing that which YOU said to do NOW. Thank you for the “no, not now”. I will always aim to trust YOU.
The other day I started to get annoyed with my husband. I started to think about all the things he doesn’t do. I started to think about how I am usually the one putting together bookshelves and our son’s toys. I started to get frustrated at the fact that certain household duties were completed better when I did them. I started to complain in my heart. Then I caught myself and God birth this blog after some time of reflecting and recognizing my spiritual lens were blurry.
I didn’t marry the tool belt hubby who knows how to fix everything without directions, or the mechanic hubby who can fix the car without professional help, or the health guru that knows what not to eat, or the fashion icon who is aiming to make fashion statements one outfit at a time, or the social media influencer ( I love that my hubby doesn’t care for social media), or the man with 5 college degrees, or the man with six figures, or the man with (you fill in a cultural/carnal Stigma in the blank)…
But who I did marry was a man seriously after God’s own heart. I married a man of prayer, vision, and passion. I married a man with eternity written on his heart and a love for his family. I married a loyal man. I married a man who doesn’t engage in gossip or carnal conversations and doesn’t mind shutting them down. I married a courageous man. I married a man of purity who is living out his God given purpose. I married a man who is vulnerable yet strong. Daring and devoted. I married a romantic. One who loves like Jesus. I married a man who aims to grow every single day.
I seriously can’t believe that our 5 year anniversary is approaching in 2 short weeks. As I get closer to that day I reflect on the goodness of God. I used to be so critical about the fact that Michael wasn’t Mr.Fix It. I used to nag him for not being what I thought “A man” should look like according media, but every single day God shows me that who I have as my spiritual covering is a rare jewel in Jesus. Michael truly is one of a kind. I HAVE NEVER MET ANOTHER PERSON LIKE HIM. Period! He’s a genuine soul!
I think about the adversity he has faced with having to endure so much at a young age. Being born of a teen mother who was 15 when she had him. Being a premature baby born at 24 weeks old. Growing up without his father until he was 16 years old when his pops got out of serving time in prison. Becoming a Christian after practicing the Islamic faith. Michael has beat the odds only by God’s grace. He is not a statistic. Only by God’s grace. He is a radiant husband and father only by God’s grace and I’m just one grateful wife who is enjoying the beauty of this man. Today as he is out mowing our lawn and you know what.. I’m proud of him. Not because he’s out being “handy”, but because many of the things I have watched him do has been his “first time” doing it or my first time seeing him do it and it’s been special to experience many first moments with the man of my prayers. So instead of nagging him for not doing certain things or knowing instinctively how to do them, I’m cheering him on from the inside of our cool home while he’s outside working in the scorching heat. He just got 1000 degrees hotter (**wink wink**) cutting the grass! Love him beyond these words!
Michael may not be one to wear a tool belt or be a fashion icon or whatever else our culture praises in men today, but what he does put on is an attire that will never retire or go out of style. He wears an attire that is spiritually able to keep him strong in Christ alone.
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
Ephesians 6:13-18 NIV
Michael embodies this passage and for that I am so grateful to walk this faith walk with him by the grace of God!
So to the wife who wished her hubby was something that he’s not, will you accept him for who he is with his personal strengths? Will you celebrate his small victories? Will you cheer him on? Will you edify him where he’s at today? Will you remove cultural stigmas and culture norms and rejoice about his kingdom characteristics? I dare you to!
Watch him shine, brighten up and thrive in every other area as you praise him for what he’s doing right and choose to stop nagging him for what he’s doing wrong. I have to be intentional to do this myself every single day! And you know what, the fruit of it has been beyond what I could have prayed for! Keep speaking life!
Pride is the worse form of protection and its main aim is to prove one’s self.
My pride likes “protection” and that’s a problem, because pride makes a poor protector.
Sometimes when I’m hurt by people close to me, I can respond in a very cold manner; It’s a false sense of protection and my awful way of trying to defend or protect myself from further hurt. In those hurt/tender moments I become very direct with my words that come out very stern and lacking grace. What I’m saying my may be right, but it may be said in the wrong moment, with the wrong tone, and a wrong attitude or heart posture. This weakness of mine has the potential to hurt others when I’m not submitting it to God. It’s one of those areas that I have to constantly bring before God over and over again. For a season I’d be thriving in this areas… then boom something silly happens to expose that I still need Jesus to fix this mess I created with my mouth piece. This way of responding was what I grew up around, however when I become a Christian I knew that that way of handling conflict would have to change and it’s not always easy shutting up. It takes a lot of peace, practice, patience, humility, grace and surrender.
This week I was reminded by King Jesus in His word about that weak area again and every time it comes up it requires a lot of prayer & processing…..and sometimes repenting.
I asked my hubby, girlfriends and sisters to pray for that area of me when a tender area gets triggered. I want you to pray for me too in regards to that area that it remains submitted to God and that I allow my heart to find a safe place to be fully tender even when sensitive areas are triggered. Accountability is key to vulnerability.
Satan is seeking to destroy relationships, friendships, churches, communities, marriages, etc.. and I’m not about to be giving him an open door. Absolutely not.
I’m so grateful for God’s loving word that is able to cut our hearts yet heal and cuddle them at the same time!
God, continue to make me more like your son Jesus. That’s all that I desire!
These are the verses that I’ve been meditating on. Sometimes it’s just best to let silence solve problems rather than my poor attempt to fix things or make a point. Pride tries to prove its point, but a surrendered soul is secure in the fact that God vindicates and validates us.
James 3:13
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”
Proverbs 10:19
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
Proverbs 21:23
He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.
Maybe you can relate. I want to encourage you to not condemn yourself, but reflect and recognize what is your thorn and give it to God as He gives you in return his word to apply to your life. His word truly does transform our heart. Keep returning to the foot of the cross and you’ll be changed every single time. There is hope in humility!
Sooooo, I’ve been waiting on God to for a particular desire and it feels like I’ve been waiting for forever. This is what He reminded of….
On the Sunday evening before my birthday this week I got what seemed to be a random friend request from a very beautiful woman named BJ Arnett who I didn’t know. I was a a little confused. Before accepting the request I snooped on her page to see if we had any mutual friends (we had 2) and then I continued to snoop. I saw pictures of her and the main actor in the new Overcomer movie (which my hubby and I saw 2 weeks ago… amazing movie!!) I then realized by the pictures on her page that she and the man from the movie were actually married. I was still confused as to why I was added and now wondering what in the world God was up to. Long story short, I accepted her request and I found out about a 3 day film festival on her page called #content19 (for actors , directors, producers and writers) and guess what, the festival was starting the same day as my birthday. So I began to get curious and pray! And God said “Go”. So I asked Michael and he said “babe obey God and Go. I support you.” With much fear, excitement and expectation, I…. I… I waited to buy my ticket 🤦🏾♀️. “But God I still need more confirmation”.
This is the hardest of all of my blogs to write so far. It’s a very sensitive and devastating hardship a couple that Michael and I are honored to call covenant friends and family in Christ have had to walk through. I so badly wanted to write this blog in such a way that honors their vulnerable hearts. So, Ruby and Jimitri, I pray and hope that in a very simple way I can effectively share your story to those who will read it here. I pray that this blog is one that you can revisit in the future for “faith fuel”. Thank you for being courageous enough to share such a painful part of y’alls journey.
Date night! Baby Green #3 is due this October 2019! 
Smiling even in hardship. Such a strong boy.
When God says, “no” or “not now”…
Amy Isom 